Re-Evaluating the Twelve Steps

Many people have recently looked at the original post for this blog, titled "The Twelve Steps--A Catholic Perspective", so I think it's time to define my purpose and intentions again. The "program" I have been slowly developing has as its base God's Grace, rather than a set of steps. I have been reflecting upon various slogans, ideas, and practices regarding what I personally experienced as a member of Al-Anon for 10 years and what I observed as the close family member and friend of a number of alcoholics. My feeling now is that something new is taking shape, and that I may not be making a systematic re-evaluation (and potential re-writing) of the 12 Steps after all (although I will continue to loosely do this as I have been). Those steps help many people and can be a springboard for sobriety, healing, and a better way of life. I still use some of the tools I learned in Al-Anon which do not conflict with my religious beliefs. But I left the program to search for that Something More that the program can't offer, and then I began to be aware of what its specific limitations are, which is part of what I have been writing about here. My goal now is to illuminate alternative paths to healing, rather than to reinvent the wheel.

In Al-Anon I was told that all the answers to my problems were to be found in the 12 Steps. But what is interesting is the fact that the "step meetings" were the least attended of all types. For example, if the first Sunday of each month was designated by a group to be a meeting to study a particular step, there was a noticeable difference in the number of people who would come that week. The step meeting involves readings out of books about the step in question, and each reader then comments--or not--on what he or she has read. So why weren't these meetings as popular? Evidently, what people really want and need is to talk. They want to choose their own topics, tell others their problems, and listen to the answers. They want the personal experiences of the people sitting in the room. They want their own experiences and feelings validated, to know that they aren't alone. They want talk therapy.

That doesn't mean the steps weren't important to them, and some people really appreciated getting more deeply into a discussion of a step. It just wasn't, perhaps, the main thing that drew them to the program. Some steps seemed difficult to understand, and there is no absolute teaching on them. "Take what you like and leave the rest" sounds good in theory, but you may be leaving out something essential, and taking something that in reality is a bitter pill. It wasn't unusual for a person to get "stuck" on a step and never progress to the next. It is taken for granted that the 12 Step model is the most effective, and so many other  groups have adopted it, such as Overeaters Anonymous. Such programs work for some people, to a certain extent. I think for now I will just continue on as I have been, writing as I am inspired, and relaying the insights I have gained. Only time will tell what form the new path will take!