Sabbatical

Under Mary's Mantle holy card

When you hear the word sabbatical, what probably comes to mind is the year off that college professors take from teaching, traditionally every seven years, in order to write, study, refresh, and fill the well. Anyone who teaches in any capacity runs the risk of burnout. One must occasionally take time off in order to have something to give one's students. While mothers cannot take an official sabbatical such as this, they are often encouraged to "take a break" from their children occasionally. I used to go to yoga class as a kind of sabbatical from the pressures of being a new mother. Dropping one's baby off at the nursery for church can be such a relief! Well, where I live, Catholics don't have Sunday school or a nursery for the little ones; everyone is in the sanctuary for Mass! But you get the picture.

Sabbatical can have a broader meaning, being a break from any sort of occupation, for the same reasons as the college professor takes one--to learn, to grow as a person, to recharge one's batteries. It usually still implies a substantial chunk of time, and it is different from a vacation. The idea is not just to be entertained or to go somewhere different from the place in which one lives. A sabbatical can be taken at home. It more has the flavor of going inward, of gestation. While we are not in the Advent season of the liturgical year right now, we may have a personal advent at any time of our lives. Some people cycle through a personal advent yearly with the official Advent time leading up to Christmas. But I think we all have personal cycles that include the advent experience, when we are preparing ourselves for some type of growth, or when we feel we need to distance ourselves from the outer world in some way before we can give of ourselves in certain ways again. Any woman who has been pregnant knows of this "nesting" period, this time of inner contemplation.

Many years ago a close friend of mine would regularly call me on the phone and talk exclusively for 10 minutes straight. When she was done, she would say she had to go and rush off the phone, never asking how I was doing or what I was up to. I didn't want to end the friendship, but I was growing weary of what seemed like her self-absorption. My solution was to scale back on the time I spent with her. And when she called, I let my answering machine pick it up most of the time. When I felt like listening to her and had nothing better to do for 10 minutes, I would return her call. This distancing (you might call it a sabbatical!) went on for about a year, and then on her own, my friend changed. I think she had been lonely and bored with her life, and she just needed someone to pay all of their attention to her sometimes. I set my boundaries without hurting her feelings or complaining about her behavior. I simply changed my behavior, and eventually my friend quit monopolizing conversations and asked about my life.

For awhile now I have been feeling that my life is going to take a decisive turn in a new direction, but I haven't gotten the divine message yet regarding exactly what that might be. I keep praying and waiting, not making any big decisions until I feel like the time is right. I know from experience that this is the best approach for me. I used to work as an esthetician at a day spa. When I first learned about this career possibility, I was really excited about the idea. My first facial had been heavenly, and I immediately had the intuition that this was something I might like to do. But it was a year and a half before I called the school about beginning the program in this field. I just woke up one day, literally, and said, "It's time!"

I will begin RCIA, the Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults, in September. The nine months leading up to the Easter vigil, when I will be confirmed and take First Communion, will be a type of advent, a time of spiritual gestation and deep seeking. Perhaps this is the thing I am feeling is going to take precedence, while other activities take a back seat. I also want more time to write and have a book that is taking shape. I am not planning to participate in a homeschooling co-op this fall, and I am undecided regarding giving my usual dance classes. Since beginning my journey to Catholicism, I have a greater desire to make my family an even bigger priority, to savor every bit of my daughter's childhood, which has already gone so quickly, and to make my marriage stronger. The home should be a "domestic church", just like the body is a divine Temple. So I am following my inner rhythms, allowing myself to be guided by the Holy Spirit, drawing myself under Mary's mantle, and being open to the divinely led Sabbatical, the Advent of which consummation is no less than rebirth.