Taking Inventory

In Al-Anon members are often warned not to "take someone else's inventory." This is a reference to Step 4, in which we make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. There are various ways to accomplish this, including a Step 4 booklet. Another way is to list all of one's favorable characteristics and accomplishments, as well as one's defects of character and mistakes. The inventory is to be balanced between the good and the bad. This is a valuable practice, since we often neglect to acknowledge our strengths and to be honest with ourselves about our weaknesses. But today I question how accurately we can take our own inventory without a moral yardstick. What are we measuring the "good" and the "bad" against? If Jesus isn't the yardstick, then the practice will be questionable at best.

Also, who am I to judge? Looked at in different ways, a personality trait could be labeled either as, say,  leadership skills or bossiness, depending on who is doing the observing, and depending on the situation. The Army captain may be bossy, but if he is yelling at a soldier in order to avoid a bomb, the failure of the soldier to obey may result in his death. Rather than trying to rid oneself of a "defect of character", perhaps the better goal is to transform any trait so that it best serves God. A person with anger issues could learn to channel that energy into fighting an evil, such as social injustice, war or abortion. God can use us just as we are.

Taking another person's inventory is a seductive prospect. God has clearly cast himself as the only judge. Only He knows someone's heart. Yet He does want us to take action to protect the weak and bring people to Him. We do not see suspicious bruises on a child and turn our eyes away. We do not ignore hate crimes, political corruption, or the destruction of the environment. God has given us the task of stewardship, and we must take it seriously. We are required to forgive and to not take into account a wrong suffered. At the same time, our relationships may have to change if we are to keep ourselves and our families from harm, and in order to live a holy life. When we continue to pray and to turn our struggles and suffering over to the care of God, we will be led in the right direction. It is okay to not take action for a time, to patiently wait for God to reveal the next right thing.

If someone is taking your inventory, be aware that you are being asked to get back on the merry-go-round. You can tell this is happening if the person is not putting grace first. They may be right, they may have a good point to make. You may, indeed, have done or said something hurtful. If that is the case, take time to consider what the person has said, and make amends as need be. If you have a complaint against your brother or sister, pray first, and then speak your peace with grace. If you are neither giving nor receiving grace, then the conversation needs to be set aside for another time, lest more harm be done.

This leads me to a consideration of grace. Just what is this mysterious thing, and how does it work? That is a topic soon to come...