Forgive and Forget

Part of the forgiveness process is being able to forget. If you continue to struggle with a particular incident, just take it to prayer and ask God to give you the grace to forgive as he forgives.

— from Marriage 911

A member of AA I know once distinguished between the forgiving and the forgetting. He seemed to think that although one might forgive another person, the offense could still be kept in mind. The slate would not be washed entirely clean. Perhaps this was because one might need to remember that another person had been untrustworthy, for example, and to protect oneself from future lies and deception. Therefore, the offense could be pardoned but not forgotten. 

What does the Bible say on this? 1 Corinthians 13 asserts that Love (Charity) does not take into account a wrong suffered. Also, in the Lord's Prayer, we ask forgiveness of our trespasses exactly in proportion to how much we have forgiven others theirs. To my mind, this means that if you are still keeping tabs, then you have not really forgiven.  Sure, no one wants to be duped, to be made a fool of twice. Love does not ask us to be oblivious, but to be entirely forgiving nonetheless. And sometimes it is hard not to bring out the dirty laundry of the past when a similar event occurs again. "You are always like this," we might say to the offender. We use the past as evidence of a habitual crime. But the truth is, the past is gone. If Jesus has forgiven it, then He doesn't remember it. That's a fact. And we are to emulate Him in this as in everything else. Forgive and forget are an indivisible pair. So leave the dirty water under the bridge where it belongs, and deal with each issue on its own present merits, one day at a time.