Experts have suggested that a person is born with a certain happiness quotient, a natural temperament toward optimism or pessimism, or a particular level of feeling good. We all know someone who always sees the sunny side of everything, and we all know the gloomy Eeyore type from the Winnie the Pooh books. Someone once said that if his hair caught on fire, I would say it was a good thing, because now he wouldn't have to brush it! I had no idea I seemed like such a happy-go-lucky person. The up side for those who are naturally more melancholy is that environment can be a big factor in balancing things out. Studies have shown proper diet and exercise to be as effective as anti-depressants in some cases.
Eeyore
That brings up an interesting question on the flip side of the coin. Can depression rub off on other people? Can a depressed person in your environment transfer his depression to you? I have personally felt the effects of another person's anger and depression in a physical way. The energy, even over the telephone or computer, or in a letter, is tangible. Some say that thoughts are actually things that can have either good or ill effects. Think about the power of prayer to heal, and you may agree. In the following article, you can read how this contagious effect of depression works. I have experienced it, not realizing what it was. A person taking out his depression on you can become suddenly and disproportionately irritable and angry, or be hyper sensitive toward you or reactionary and very defensive. Or after being around a very sad or negative person, you may find your own balloon sagging and wonder why.
Luckily, I was able to work through my recent suffering through Catholic teaching on the subject, which I have written about in previous posts. According to this article and others, depression certainly can be a family illness, just like alcoholism. We need to let go of the stigma of these disorders, acknowledge and accept the truth of the situation, and seek help. If you get better, you help your loved one get better, too. Denial serves no one, and sweeping clinical depression under the carpet can have devastating results.
Is depression catching?
by ANNETTE WETHERIDGEDepression is one of the most widespread health problems of the modern age. But we tend to assume we are either prone to it or not. Now American psychologists have discovered that depression is contagious.
Like tired people who trigger yawning fits in others, depression is apparently like psychological flu. If you've got it, you spread it around. Here, Dr Thomas Joiner, professor of psychology at Florida State University, describes how romantic partners, friends and colleagues can all pass on the depression bug . . .
Depression is believed to be caused by a chemical imbalance. Yet our study shows that other people can - and do - trigger depression. It doesn't matter if you are happy-go-lucky or a pessimist - if you spend enough time with someone who is depressed, you, too, are going to suffer depression.
We put 105 couples through a battery of tests to prove partners fall into the same patterns. Over a one-year period the couples were quizzed time and again about their feelings and moods.
Surprisingly, those who were depressed had very negative feelings towards their other half. These were people who were supposedly in love - yet the dominant, depressed person in each relationship tended to be disparaging, and the other person was upset and depressed because of what was going on.
The depression was a vicious circle - the more one partner was down, the more that person spread their mood. If, for instance, a husband is depressed, he is no longer available emotionally to his wife.
He becomes hostile, and she has to take care of the children and all the other things the husband used to do. So she becomes hostile and depressed herself, because of the burden he has placed on her and starts to believe it is her fault her husband is down.
It can become a Catch-22 - they go round in a vicious circle blaming each other for their bad moods. The only solution is for one of them to get better. By this stage both probably need medication and intensive therapy, whether together or alone.
Women prone to depression often choose alcoholic or abusive men for husbands, possibly because they suffer from low self-esteem. Their negative thoughts become a self-fulfilling prophesy. They believe they are unworthy, therefore they pick an unworthy partner. And when one gets depressed, the other follows suit. But that's not to say someone who was always happy won't suddenly become depressed and spread their depression.
The first depression is usually triggered by something dramatic, such as a death or a job loss. Subsequent depression follows, though it will never be as bleak. The first major warning sign is known as anhedonia - a person loses their capacity for pleasure.
For instance, someone who once loved to spend their time on the golf course or pottering around the garden no longer wants to do it. They might still go into the garden at weekends, but their conversation revolves around whether it's worth it, whether there is any point in weeding or mowing the grass.
Then there is a change in sleep patterns. A person who has slept well may suddenly become an insomniac, or wants to sleep all the time and cannot be bothered to get out of bed in the morning.
They may also become irritable for no reason. Inevitably, their partner suffers. How can they not? The partner walks around on egg shells, trying not to cause the depressed person any more problems. They retreat into themselves, too, and inevitably blame themselves.
The first thing the least depressed person has to do is understand it is not their problem. They have to arrange for their partner to get treatment. Often the depressed partner does not believe anything is wrong, so gentle persuasion is needed. If the person refuses, the spouse should initially go alone and discuss the problems with a therapist.
It is also worth giving the depressed person space. Don't cling, don't demand answers they probably can't give. Back off and give yourself some space. Keep up with friends, go alone to social events if the other person does not feel like going out.
In other words maintain some sort of life for yourself. Don't sink to the same depths as them. And when the partner is being particularly irritable, ask them what is wrong, ask them what you have done to upset them. Eventually, they will realise you have done nothing wrong. Sadly, some couples end up in the divorce courts, trapped in a vicious circle of depression.
I did a similar study on university roommates. Often in America, in your first year at college, you have no choice about who you share a room with. Yet even with strangers -people who are not emotionally involved - depression rubs off. If a student is unhappy, inevitably the roommate picks up the bad vibes.
You can see the same thing happening in the workplace. A boss who comes in on a Monday morning in a bad mood will bring down his staff.
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