While writing one day, I had the sudden realization that I was discovering parallels between my dissatisfaction with Protestant Christianity and my disillusionment with Al-Anon, the support group for the families and friends of alcoholics. I was gaining new insights from a Catholic perspective, initiated by the intense amount of reading I have been doing as I go about the process of converting to the Catholic Faith.
The 12 Steps of the Al-Anon program are the same as those used by Alcoholics Anonymous, but from the perspective of people affected by the drinking of another. Alcoholism is understood as a family illness; that is, the friends and family of an alcoholic can become seriously unbalanced themselves. Al-Anon is a support group for the loved ones of alcoholics which also follows the same traditions as AA. Both groups are grounded on spiritual principles but have no religious affiliation. Both groups have provided much needed help to countless people. AA gives the alcoholic a way to get sober, and Al-Anon gives his loved ones a way to cope with the disease of alcoholism and its destructive, heartbreaking effects. Al-Anon helped me get through some of the most painful moments of my life, and I am eternally grateful.
There came a point, however, after ten years in the Al-Anon program, when I knew I had to move on, just like I had to stop going to church for awhile in order to search for the place in which God wanted me to be. There are those who get sober in AA but don't maintain sobriety, who relapse and go in and out of the program. There are those who get sober and stay sober in AA and remain in the program for the rest of their lives. Some get sober in AA but leave the program and stay sober. Others get sober without AA and stay sober. The success rate is higher for those who desire to get help and want to go to meetings, whereas it is lower for people whose attendance is court mandated. Overall the success rate of AA is something like 3% to 5%.
Alcoholism is called a "cunning and baffling disease" by people in these 12 Step programs. Complete abstinence is said to be the only way to arrest the disease; there is no cure. Yet there are those who have gotten better and are able to drink with moderation. It is said that these could not therefore be "true" alcoholics. The AMA defines alcoholism as both a physical and mental disease, so insurance can cover both medical and psychiatric treatment, and this is a very good thing. There does remain conflicting medical opinion, however, regarding the designation of alcoholism as a disease and how best to treat it.
I have witnessed firsthand the limitations of these programs. I found an online article that discussed alcoholism as sin, pure and simple, and denied the idea of alcoholism being a disease. The writer did not mention any personal experience in 12 Step programs. She gave many Bible verses warning against the sin of drunkeness, which do not provide any exceptions for those who are compelled to drink due to having a disease. While her point is valid, I have seen alcoholics become very ill, and their thinking distorted, and their personalities negatively and profoundly altered. And they make everyone else around them sick. Their drinking gets progressively worse, and many sins are indeed committed: lying, financial disaster, adultery, child abuse and neglect, spouse abuse, out of control anger, and other addictions that may coincide, such as gambling and sex addiction. The alcoholic is very sick and miserable, and these problems are not the only ones. Insanity and death are the outcomes of alcoholism, and the alcoholic is not drinking for fun.
The issue is more complicated than one of sin, but there is a key in this consideration that, as helpful and filled with spiritual wisdom as the 12 Step program may be, it doesn't work for everyone for a reason. I prayed on my Rosary after I read the harsh article mentioned above to be more compassionate and gentle than this writer, and I asked to be guided by the Holy Spirit. The answer that has come to me so far is to re-evaluate the 12 Steps. Ugh! I feel like Noah being asked to build the ark. Why me?!
I'm going to go through the steps one at a time and use them as a base upon which to build a Catholic application. I'm also going to look at the 12 Traditions of AA and Al-Anon, for it is on these that the group stands or falls. What works in the program? What is missing? What needs to be changed? What are some possible solutions? These are the beginnings of the questions. My hope is to provide the basis for an alternate path for someone looking for a way to get and stay not only sober, but to become whole, and this for his loved ones as well. To find the ultimate salvation.
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