One Day at a Time in Advent

As with everything else in life, we can only prepare for Christmas one day at a time. "One Day at a Time" is one of the main slogans of AA, Al-Anon, and other 12 Step groups. Each of us has the same 24 hours a day, and there is a limit to what we can accomplish in that period of time, especially since we must be sure to sleep at least 7 to 8 hours per night! I need more like 9 to 10 hours to feel properly rested.

Some may wish to hurry up and get Christmas over with. This is a tempting attitude, since for many, especially those dealing with the alcoholism and other dysfunctions of close family members, holiday gatherings are dreaded. Perhaps there is too much drinking and bickering, or old resentments rear their dragon-like heads, or financial strain is especially felt at this time. But to miss out on the spiritual richness of Advent would be a sorrowful state of affairs. The Catholic Church, as usual, provides the way to meaning and wholeness in this special season.

We are no longer in "ordinary time".  It's time now to contemplate the extraordinary, the day when our Savior was born into this world, a divine child suckled at the breast of his human mother, Mary. Pray the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary and put yourself there in the stable. See the starlight cutting through the darkness and shining upon the baby lying in the manger, asleep on the hay. Imagine the awe of the shepherds visited by an angel who heard the angelic choir ringing out in the night. Behold the gifts of the magi, fit for a king--the King of Kings. Contemplate His humility, His vulnerability, and His reason for coming.

Not officially in this Nativity scene is the little drummer boy of the Rankin-Bass television program. If you can't catch it on TV, check it out on video from your library. It always, without fail, makes me cry. I think it's because the little drummer boy discovers not just the true meaning of Christmas, but of life. He thinks he has no gift to bring, but then he plays his drum for Jesus. This was the boy's purpose in life, to use his musical talent for the glory of God. What gifts has God given you? How well do you use them? This Advent season, make a commitment to use your gifts in alignment with the will of God, to share with others for His honor. This will give your life purpose.

Go to Mass. Light your own Advent candles every Sunday and have dinner with your family by their light each evening. Shop for gifts with bringing joy to the recipient in mind. Eat healthy, and don't overindulge in the sweets. Keep your house picked up, and by all means put up a Christmas tree, even just a small one, and even if you live alone. Decorate your home not just for the holidays, but for winter, making your environment warm and cheerful even on the coldest of days.

Lift the flap on an Advent calendar and read the message with your children every day. My daughter's religious education teacher had the children make a construction paper chain to count down the days till Christmas, and Beezy loves seeing how many days are left. We read the messages and do what they say, such as, "Make popcorn for your family", and she is having a great time following the instructions. Today's message: "Look up at the wonder of the night sky tonight and say thanks to God." Be a kid again, experiencing the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of a child. Establish family traditions. They are worth the effort, and keep them simple. And like my RCIA director said, if whatever you do to prepare for Christmas doesn't bring you closer to Jesus, just don't do it!

Forgive and Forget

Part of the forgiveness process is being able to forget. If you continue to struggle with a particular incident, just take it to prayer and ask God to give you the grace to forgive as he forgives.

— from Marriage 911

A member of AA I know once distinguished between the forgiving and the forgetting. He seemed to think that although one might forgive another person, the offense could still be kept in mind. The slate would not be washed entirely clean. Perhaps this was because one might need to remember that another person had been untrustworthy, for example, and to protect oneself from future lies and deception. Therefore, the offense could be pardoned but not forgotten. 

What does the Bible say on this? 1 Corinthians 13 asserts that Love (Charity) does not take into account a wrong suffered. Also, in the Lord's Prayer, we ask forgiveness of our trespasses exactly in proportion to how much we have forgiven others theirs. To my mind, this means that if you are still keeping tabs, then you have not really forgiven.  Sure, no one wants to be duped, to be made a fool of twice. Love does not ask us to be oblivious, but to be entirely forgiving nonetheless. And sometimes it is hard not to bring out the dirty laundry of the past when a similar event occurs again. "You are always like this," we might say to the offender. We use the past as evidence of a habitual crime. But the truth is, the past is gone. If Jesus has forgiven it, then He doesn't remember it. That's a fact. And we are to emulate Him in this as in everything else. Forgive and forget are an indivisible pair. So leave the dirty water under the bridge where it belongs, and deal with each issue on its own present merits, one day at a time.