Grief and the Sorrowful Mysteries

I don't normally like to pray the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Holy Rosary.  But I was grateful for them yesterday when the news of a mass shooting at an elementary school in Connecticut shocked the nation.  Twenty children dead, all of them first graders.  My daughter and I were on our way to the library to meet up with some friends when my husband told me he had heard the breaking story on the radio.  We don't have TV reception, but I watched the coverage on the library's television.  I had brought my Rosary with me, and I began to pray.  Walking through Jesus' agony and brutal death, keeping tight under Mary's mantle, I found comfort.  There was something I could do for the victims and their families and friends, even for the shooter himself.  I could pray.

Reactions to a shocking grief such as this vary.  Some, like me, will cry.  Some will be very angry and want to find someone to blame, some way that what happened could have been controlled, prevented.  Still others will under-react, as if nothing all that big has happened.  There are even those who will take advantage of the horror in order to further a political agenda.  One friend of mine on the social network wanted to know where God was when those children were gunned down.  If someone would explain it to him, he said, he would be in church the next day.  We live in a fallen world.  We have the gift of free will, to choose either to do good or evil.  We want to know why.  But we may never have all the answers.

There may be a day to take political action, to protest against guns or poor school security.  But today is not that day.  Today is a day to mourn, to grieve, to pray.  It may also be a time for contemplation, even the beginning of a radical reorientation.  Some will pull their children out of school and educate them at home.  I am grateful today for the freedom to homeschool in this country, and glad for having made that choice.  But mostly I feel shocked into a deeper reality.  We only have today, and there are many who will no longer be walking this earth by the time the sun goes down.  How we choose to spend each and every waking day does matter.  How we treat one another and our relationship with God is top priority.  If we choose to hate the shooter, or the government, or the laws, or the guns, we miss the point.  The only reality is Love.  That is the only place we can go if life is to have meaning, if we truly want to understand.  Pick up your beads, get down on your knees, and talk to the One who is Eternal Love.  There is your solace, your peace, your strength, and your hope.

One Day at a Time in Advent

As with everything else in life, we can only prepare for Christmas one day at a time. "One Day at a Time" is one of the main slogans of AA, Al-Anon, and other 12 Step groups. Each of us has the same 24 hours a day, and there is a limit to what we can accomplish in that period of time, especially since we must be sure to sleep at least 7 to 8 hours per night! I need more like 9 to 10 hours to feel properly rested.

Some may wish to hurry up and get Christmas over with. This is a tempting attitude, since for many, especially those dealing with the alcoholism and other dysfunctions of close family members, holiday gatherings are dreaded. Perhaps there is too much drinking and bickering, or old resentments rear their dragon-like heads, or financial strain is especially felt at this time. But to miss out on the spiritual richness of Advent would be a sorrowful state of affairs. The Catholic Church, as usual, provides the way to meaning and wholeness in this special season.

We are no longer in "ordinary time".  It's time now to contemplate the extraordinary, the day when our Savior was born into this world, a divine child suckled at the breast of his human mother, Mary. Pray the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary and put yourself there in the stable. See the starlight cutting through the darkness and shining upon the baby lying in the manger, asleep on the hay. Imagine the awe of the shepherds visited by an angel who heard the angelic choir ringing out in the night. Behold the gifts of the magi, fit for a king--the King of Kings. Contemplate His humility, His vulnerability, and His reason for coming.

Not officially in this Nativity scene is the little drummer boy of the Rankin-Bass television program. If you can't catch it on TV, check it out on video from your library. It always, without fail, makes me cry. I think it's because the little drummer boy discovers not just the true meaning of Christmas, but of life. He thinks he has no gift to bring, but then he plays his drum for Jesus. This was the boy's purpose in life, to use his musical talent for the glory of God. What gifts has God given you? How well do you use them? This Advent season, make a commitment to use your gifts in alignment with the will of God, to share with others for His honor. This will give your life purpose.

Go to Mass. Light your own Advent candles every Sunday and have dinner with your family by their light each evening. Shop for gifts with bringing joy to the recipient in mind. Eat healthy, and don't overindulge in the sweets. Keep your house picked up, and by all means put up a Christmas tree, even just a small one, and even if you live alone. Decorate your home not just for the holidays, but for winter, making your environment warm and cheerful even on the coldest of days.

Lift the flap on an Advent calendar and read the message with your children every day. My daughter's religious education teacher had the children make a construction paper chain to count down the days till Christmas, and Beezy loves seeing how many days are left. We read the messages and do what they say, such as, "Make popcorn for your family", and she is having a great time following the instructions. Today's message: "Look up at the wonder of the night sky tonight and say thanks to God." Be a kid again, experiencing the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of a child. Establish family traditions. They are worth the effort, and keep them simple. And like my RCIA director said, if whatever you do to prepare for Christmas doesn't bring you closer to Jesus, just don't do it!